It is often said that not knowing what will happen next is the beauty of life. But sometimes life will throw things at you that will either drive you crazy, leave you in pain, make you happy or force you to face your past and fears. Tragedy is part of the unknown and unexpected part of our life experience.
The storyline in the book of Ruth revolves around life-altering tragedies of Death and Famine. Naomi lost her husband then her two sons who had no children. Naomi might have ventured into Moab so optimistic about her new life. Yet in just a few years, she lost everything that mattered to her! “A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. There is no word for a parent who loses a child. That’s how awful the loss is.” Jay Neugeboren, An Orphan’s Tale.
God’s people are evidently not sheltered from heartbreaking tragedies. If I had a penny for things that have made me sad, I would be rich to say the least. Like Naomi, I have had my own share of sadness. And like Ruth, I know what it’s like to beg someone not to push you away. I have experienced painful things, but I will highlight just one that has shaped my adulting phase. This is my tragic story….
The year is 2008. My twin sister and I are in high school. We are both super optimistic about what the future will hold. We are among the top A students but competing mostly amongst our twin selves. I defeat her in an exam, she destroys me in the next one. This is the only tragedy I am dealing with: how to consistently defeat my twin in two consecutive exams. The teachers take note of this war and are impressed. The war is given a name: our surname. We earn their respect and Favor which makes high school life easier; not easy, just easier. Life is sweet, no lemons, just orange juice.
Back at home, life is serving our parents a different kind of juice. Lemonade. Apparently, they had been on this juice diet for quite some time now until they both had enough. Things go south and they make the decision to split. This is the news that would later sour the orange juice that my sister and I were having at school.
It was one afternoon while we were at home during the school holidays when my father broke the news to us. My mother was at work. Just before he left for work, he explained that he would be moving out temporarily until things cooled off. He made it seem like it was nothing to worry about. In fact, he did not even pack his things. But that was the last time I had a conversation with him in that house.
Shortly after the news of my parent’s separation, another can of worms was opened. I remember the day very well. It was a few weeks after my dad had left. It was a chilled-out evening. My mom was preparing dinner. My sister and I were watching tv. The house was quiet, except for the occasional coos from my one-year-old brother. I envied him. His life was totally unchanged. He was doing his usual dances whenever music played from the tv commercials while holding onto the coffee table. My mom came from the kitchen and stood near the dining area waiting for the food to simmer. She gazed at the TV, clearly not following. Perhaps she was considering how to lessen the blow of the impact of the separation on us. She then revealed that the man we had known all our lives and are now trying to live without was not our biological father. My mom tried to answer our unspoken questions by stating that when we turned eighteen, she would explain everything and even take us to meet our father.
Needless to say, these changes at home affected me deeply. The surname that was once a source of pride became a reminder of my now broken family. It had no meaning. My grades were terrible in the months that followed. Sadly, I could no longer beat the A student record I had set for myself. The teachers pulled us aside and pleaded with us to share what had caused the drastic change, but it was hard for us. I remember questioning everything, feeling overwhelmed and crying often. My young mind was bombarded by thousands of unhappy thoughts regarding my identity. What else were these adults hiding from me? Who then was my father? Where was he? Why did he not want us? I no longer knew what my roots were. Together, my sister and I examined our shaken family foundations. If I had the courage of Naomi, I would have said then, that the Lord Himself had afflicted me.
Despite the pain and confusion, I was glad I was not dealing with it alone. My sister being in it with me made me feel hopeful that we could overcome anything life threw at us. I am warmly stirred by Ruth’s pledge of allegiance to Naomi and her God. It is not just because those words (Ruth 1:16-17) are the most popular from the book. Nor because of how radical they are; one person fully committing themselves to another. It is because I can relate first hand the power of God’s providence in giving you a companion during difficult times. “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity Proverbs 17.17”. Tragedy is more bearable when you have someone by your side. My twin sister walked me throughout my confusion.
My mother made good with her promise to introduce us to our biological father when we turned 18. But it did not go anything like I imagined. When we arrived at the meeting spot, he seemed surprised to see us and called my mother aside for a private conversation. Long story short, he wanted nothing to do with us. His reaction was a lot like Naomi’s closest kinsman redeemer. Essentially, he felt that our re-entry into his life would threaten everything he had worked for! For the first time in my life, despite having two fathers, I felt fatherless!
But God was not surprised. In His Sovereign, omniscient knowledge concerning my life, He knew I needed Him as a father. He became my good, good father. It was not easy though. I had trust issues. But He was not afraid of my doubts or my anger or my pain. No! With time He healed me layer by layer. As in Naomi’s case, God never left me nor forsook me when my family history crumbled.
While Naomi was given Ruth who was to her better than seven sons, God gave me a loving twin sister who is also a best friend. God brought Naomi back to the promised land, settled her among His people and secured an inheritance for her in accordance with the old covenant. Through Christ, God has redeemed me, made me His child thus giving me a steady and secure identity. I am His. I am adopted into a new family of God. I am who He says I am. Because of my faith in Jesus, I am a child of God whose identity is not by human decision of accepting or rejecting me, but born of God (John 1:12-13, 1 Peter 1:23). As a child, I am a co-heir with Christ and so there is eternal value to the tragedies that God will allow me to experience (Roman 8:17). That means that rather than asking why God would allow tragedy to befall His people, Naomi’s narrative, and my experience leads me to conclude with these words by Paul:
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Rom 8:35,37-39
