This Daughter of Zion

It is scary to say I love you
When deep down I know I am holding back on many areas
Love grows in me when we have consistent quality time, bonding, endless conversations
Not once off moments!
You know that intense connection, intense chemistry?
I want to feel that with you
But I know its too much to ask of you now.
Timing
I try to have those moments, but something happens in the middle
Us syncing is always interrupted by a poor connection
Saying I love you, while ignoring what my heart feels is dishonest
And my heart feels empty without all of these
My heart longs for things that don’t seem to happen
Things that need time
Maybe
Saying I love you, when I have not given all of me to you is lying to you
I want to give you all of me, but I am scared you are not ready for it
I will rain on your parade, a tsunami
Your only safety being under my umbrella
I am scared you will be breathless, suffocated by my love and lack of restraint
Can you even swim?
I will pour into you and I need to make sure you won’t drown
I am scared I will be too much, a thunderstorm
Turn things in your life upside down
Am sure you have seen hints of this
I want to be sure you are ready for it
Check the forecast
I want to be sure we both want the same things
Read between the Holy papers
So I hold back….I wait….I pray
I smile, I encourage, I meditate
While sending love emojis your way
But let me bottle my love until it’s time to drink,
Until it feels right to quench our thirst
This daughter of Zion will awaken love when it is ready to last